Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
