Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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