hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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