i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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