guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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