She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You can't special order awesome
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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