I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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