I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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