just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
