She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
