You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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