all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
