yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
