Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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