every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Never joke about your clitoris.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
