Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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