I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
