i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
