He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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