Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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