So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
even my farts smell like vagina
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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