My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
