And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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