he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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