does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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