Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
