so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sorry about my life...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
