4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That accounts for only three of the penises
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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