I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize