we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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