i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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