I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
