That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
