I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
