I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
