I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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