We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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