**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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