I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
