you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
