so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
