just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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