i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I believe in your delicious
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
