her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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