Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
