look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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