i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
