I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize