plz talk dirty to me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
