my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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