i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
