i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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