i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
