meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize