I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
