even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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