hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I bet he comes in French.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
