she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
